• Ashlyn

I Decided To Give Up Mcdonald's For One Year


In complete transparency, I never thought or wanted or considered this day would come. Mcdonald's is my favorite food next to grandma's fedéo.


This isn't a metaphor for life, of having too much on one's plate.

This is an ode to the greatest challenge and love affair of all time.

I won't lie, I don't deny.

That Mcdonald's best known supporter is right here on Van Buskirk.

This is a love story and not a health story but a challenge and a journey-embarking story, so without judgement, I invite you to just read and listen.

The first time I ate a Big Mac, I was 9 years old and my mom timed me and she said "you just ate that in two minutes flat." - the moment I tasted the sauce I was arriving!

Talk about coming out & talk about coming into this sensation of flavor and juices and exorbitant amount of dopamine release. That was really all it took to find out that I had found my flavor.


After watching Super Size Me in the 90's I only wanted to eat it. Whenever I got out of surgeries or procedures, my mom had it waiting for me, hot and fresh. My aunt and uncle used to let me decide how I wanted to be paid for babysitting: cash or McDonald's, I always chose McDonald's. I made a lot less money, and it tasted amazing every time.

I've received Arch cards and special menu items throughout my years and I've participated in monopoly and done communal wide games with friends.

I enjoy visiting different kinds of McDonald's in different cities and countries. I ate a Big Mac meal on my older brother's birthday in China to offer an experience of familiarity and family memory bonding.

I once found out I had food poisoning from something else BECAUSE I couldn't finish my Big Mac.


This " selective GMO" truth about me confuses so many because of this perception of who I am based off my likes, dislikes, hobbies, posts, and general personality and relationship to the earth and politics that I have. McDonald's, Brownies, Cookies, Ding Dongs, Cereal, Top Ramon, frozen burritos with the blue writing & yellow package.... those are my favorite GMO's. Be that as it may, I did find an organic unfuckingbelievable M&M and it's called Unreal so that saves me there.


You know, I have not a single negative memory about McDonald's, so throughout all the uncoverings on this journey all these decades, it's never been a priority for me to look at my relationship to food as much as trauma healing and spiritual work has been. Which is precisely why I knew I had to take on this layer with my next goal into the center of my soul.


At this point in my journey, I've spent over a decade healing many layers of childhood trauma and working through my 20's to explore, accept, and release that while adopting and nurturing a new way of thinking, being, and behaving, and 18 years of childhood survival skills behind my belt to know I can make it through anything. I've spent over 10,000 hours mastering the art of pain extraction of the human body. And I am ready now on my journey to become a student again for another Year Long Challenge. Mcdonald's is somewhere near the root of my food addiction in the area of emotional eating, I think. You see, I am so curious about my relationship to food and why there is this innate fear that presents itself when I cannot get it when I want it? If I think about it hard enough, I can smell the scent and flavors of it. I think with where I'm at in life and what I want to grow into next, this warranted a best effort attempt and uncovering this relationship as well as the next layer in my psyche and soul's journey I am looking for.


This isn't the first time I've done a Year Long Challenge. I have done a year of celibacy in 2012 and 2019 in order to uncover the relationship of sex and again to heal the relationship of sex in my own life and identity. This year as I continue to grow in my energy work skills and psychic practices, I will be looking at my emotional food eating habits (and/or addictions? What word here is exactly the most appropriate to be using?) Though delicious and always there, I am fully aware and conscious every time I make the choice. I do enjoy surrendering to an experiment and to see what my body can do when given the chance to do it, when it is something I am fully inspired to do, so I will be embarking on 1 year without McDonald's, brownies, cookies, and ding dongs. Those are my main takers.

But, mainly McDonald's. This challenge starts/started May 11th, 2022 at approximately 7:30pm.


So when Anna asked me what kind of cake I wanted for my birthday this year I told her I wanted a feast of my "last supper" before I start this journey. I want my schmorgesborg of burgers, fries, and nuggets to be spread with candles everywhere and really get time to enjoy and savor each bite.


And my heck did she show up!!! Look at this beautiful dinner that was put together. The smell was a fresh aroma of secret sauce and salted oils in the evening air. The salt mixed with the garlic gave the atmosphere just a tang amongst the backstops and foliage. The nuggets were plump and no doubt juicy, and sauce to the side. The air was cool and wind was down to minimal whispers letting us know we were surrounded with good supportive energy. I felt truly, like I was at a feast with all my loved ones and every moment was so special. I didn't know this kind of birthday candle in-leu-of-cake setup was an option, and that is proof magic is alive. I sent a picture to my older brother & sister because I knew they would understand my excitement. We always loved McDonald's! Great memories, through and through. That is also what makes this challenge hard for me.

What I'm hoping to get from this challenge is something very specific for my spiritual journey. As is most things I do, I am always looking deeper into the psyche and spirituality personally for healing and growth, as a practitioner and guide for others, and as someone who enjoys thoroughly being a student in this life and the healing journey.

When I thought about doing this challenge, I can't even explain to you how much anxiety flooded my body, along with excitement. I never thought in a million years that I would give up McDonald's. It is by far my only favorite fast food restaurant. As you've read about my love of it above, the psychology behind it is vastly deeper than I can comprehend. By the time you read this on this blog, the date of this post because I can't back-post, I will have been through multiple withdrawal moments, lots of fearful and panic thoughts when I am getting a craving or internal smell and taste.


I started this challenge on May 11th, and as much as I was going to post right away about it, I am still getting used to my own writing deadlines, which so far, are about as unpredictable as I imagined. One baby step a day.

When I thought about doing this challenge, I can't even explain to you how much anxiety flooded my body, along with excitement. I never thought in a million years that I would give up McDonald's. It is by far my only favorite fast food restaurant. As you've read about my love of it above, the psychology behind it is vastly deeper than I can comprehend. By the time you read this on this blog, the date of this post because I can't back-post, I will have been through multiple withdrawal moments, lots of fearful and panic thoughts when I am getting a craving or internal smell and taste.


I started this challenge on May 11th, and as much as I was going to post right away about it, I am still getting used to my own writing deadlines, which so far, are about as unpredictable as I imagined. One baby step a day.


Today's date is August 7th, and I will have made it through my first 3 months in just a couple of days. I can still taste the secret sauce in my body. I still get so happy and giddy about the day I get to hold that Mac in my hands and groan to the enjoyment of the burger, and at the same time, I wonder who I will be on my 32nd birthday. Many people have been telling me I won't even crave it or want it, and this comes from people who already don't eat or indulge in cookies and fast food, so I wonder how much that will be true for me. More importantly, I hope by then, I will allow myself the grace to still love the food without having the impending fein of needing it.


So here's to my year without McDonald's! Many updates to come soon.

Thanks for reading <3








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